No Trousers, No Patience
How we dress, drink, and behave in 2025.
Last weekend, I was at the Royal Opera House watching Onegin, which my husband and I agreed was the best ballet we’ve ever seen. It’s running until June 12th—if you get the chance, please go and satisfy my brooding Russian soul.
I love the atmosphere—I've been going to the ballet since I was a little girl—and always treat it as a special night out. People-watching at ROH is top-tier: sharp suits, floor-length dresses, bottles of Veuve passed around. Sadly, not everyone gets the memo. It’s my firm belief that full-length trousers are a minimum standard for an evening out, though apparently that’s a hot take these days.
What is happening to our social etiquette? It has clearly become a huge topic of discussion recently—Emily gave some brilliant examples in her recent letter.
My top are:
Phone on the table at dinner, screen side up, notifications on.
not thanking the host after the party/dinner.
Zoom calls in coffee shops, music aloud on the subway, texting in movie theatres, toes out on airplanes (!).
And, importantly: non-emergency texts do not require immediate responses.
I have a lot of strong feelings about the dos and don’ts of the social contract in 2025. I’ll be polling my friends soon and pitching this to Penguin—watch this space.
On Monday, social media reminded me it’s been ten years since I graduated from college. It made me feel a bit like a dinosaur, but also got me thinking about how much has shifted—not just mortgages, careers, babies—but how we socialise.
Gone are the long, boozy Saturday brunches and four-bottle dinners. People are clearing booze out of their homes and saving drinking for weekends. My old intern told me, “It became too expensive. It actually deterred me from going out with my friends, and I didn’t think the health effects were worth it.” She still enjoys a glass here and there, but doesn’t want the pressure of drinking at every social event. Call it intuitive drinking. Fittingly, non-alcoholic beer is on track to overtake ale as the world’s second-largest beer category this year.
And yet, brat summer 2024 felt like a glorious revolt against the clean girl aesthetic. Feral, slaggy, roughed-up—I loved watching girls in short denim minis strutting through East London on Saturday mornings. The walk of shame? Back as a stride of pride. We drank, smoked (bye bye, disposable vapes), and ordered pizzas at 1 a.m. It was glorious. As a friend put it when I asked if he noticed any changes in his drinking habits:
‘No. I am not 12.’
It seems that, ten years post-grad, we’re still fumbling toward a balance in the labyrinth of adulthood. Societal expectations are tough enough; add a perfectly curated social feed from an absolute stranger and it’s no wonder we’re having meltdowns while chugging our third spritz.
We’re not alone. Deloitte released its 2025 Gen Z and Millennial Survey, and it confirms what many of us already feel: the post-post-Covid world is still shifting beneath our feet. The watercooler chat is dying a slow and painful death.
TLDR:
Financials are dire: Over 50% live paycheck to paycheck. 37% of Gen Zs and 39% of millennials have side gigs to make ends meet.
The amount of multi-hyphenates professionals in my life is staggering - because an editor at a glossy mag in London is earning around 45k if they are lucky.
Flexibility is non-negotiable: 75% of Gen Z and 76% of millennials want hybrid or remote options long-term.
Remember the sweaty Central line commutes five days a week circa 2019? Good riddance. Flexibility is essential—but so is accountability. I led a team of 20 remotely for almost four years. We built trust. When someone joined a call from a pool in a bikini, they were fired on the spot.
Non-linear careers: : Career breaks, industry pivots, and freelancing are the norm.
I’ve bounced from journalism to PR to fashion to FMCG. Pivoting builds skill sets. My favorite stories are people who left law to bake cakes. If there’s not already a podcast about this, maybe it’s time I start one.
Redefining Success: Forget traditional leadership as the end goal—purpose, flexibility, and personal growth now lead the way.
It reminds me of those brilliant French OOO replies on July 31: “Bonjour, I’m on holiday and will respond to your email on September 1.” European dolce vita forever.
We don’t need no education: One-third of Gen Zs and millennials are skipping college, citing high cost and questionable payoff. Online courses and certifications are reshaping how we learn and get hired.
Realistically, you go to university to drink and learn how to learn. HR that only looks at which school you went to is missing the point.
So yes—etiquette is dead, brunch is on life support, and our careers are stitched together with side gigs and sheer delusion. We’re all performing adulthood in slightly different costumes, hoping no one notices we’re making it up as we go. Nothing makes sense, but at least we can text each other about it.
Things I’ve texted my friends about this week:
This Telegraph piece had me clicking for the clickbait—and staying to locate the exact coordinates of the fearmongering. Apparently, by 2100, six in ten people in the UK will either not have been born here or will have at least one immigrant parent. According to The Telegraph, I don’t count as white or British. Kisses to the editors!
The Observer’s report on period apps and police access to data is absolutely appalling. Worth your attention, especially if you’ve ever logged a cramp or craving into an app.
Sauna raves in London? Please no. I always seem to talk about saunas in this newsletter, but some things don’t need a DJ set.
I was getting cocktails at TGIs at 15 and pretending I was on Sex and the City. This piece made me feel things.
This cake at Café Cecilia is perfect. I really need to go.
A romantasy-only bookshop is opening in London later this summer. Apparently, the love of dragons and smut is so strong in the capital that it demands its own storefront. I’m going for research purposes.
The parent company of Tinder, Hinge, and OKCupid is laying off staff and losing users—700k left in 2024 alone. Is IRL romance finally back?
Vogue officially declared “chic” meaningless. It’s true: very few chic people out there. Let’s build real personalities instead of parroting CBK Pinterest boards.
Luke Edward hall has designed a collection for Ginori 1735. My Christmas list is now complete.
The Hollywood succession drama is delicious.
xo
K